精液奇蹟式地或許可以治療武漢新冠病毒 [虛構文章]
在今天西斯洛弗研究機構舉行的一次戲劇性新聞發布會上，醫生宣布，用人類精子進行的治療在對抗武漢冠狀病毒方面顯示出顯著成果。
韓約翰博士在一個擠滿記者和同事的房間裡發表公開演說
Sissylover精子研究研究所（SISS）的 Ima Kumhund 博士在早間的新聞發布會上說：“我們很早就知道一種令人驚奇的物質，具有許多復原的特性。” ，因此它也可以治愈也就不足為奇了。”
臨床檢查
庫姆洪德博士指出，精子中發現的兩種主要酶，透明質酸酶和阿克羅辛酶，具有將病毒轉化為易碎分子的抗共卵效應。
Kumhund博士繼續說：“百分之七十五的接受男性精子治療的患者報告陽性。” “ 95％的女性患者可以完全治愈，而72％的男性患者可以在短期內治愈。目前尚不清楚，雖然男性患者尚未完全治愈，但Kumhund博士建議每週重複使用5ml 的精子。
Kumhund博士警告說：“男性之間的射精量各不相同，甚至每個男人之間也有所不同。您可能不知道的是效力上的差異，這些酶雖然存在於所有精子中，但在通常被稱為超男性“ Alpha-males”的男人中卻更為豐富。
快速有效的方法
醫生還宣布了一種革命性的新治療方法，該方法需要內部將精子內部注射到直腸深處，而不是像其他藥物那樣將針頭注射到臀部。
臨床研究主管Han Johb博士報告說：“這種方法可加速吸收並持續15天，患者對新的分娩方法反應出奇。起初有些人可能會有點痛苦，但後來大多數男性患者覺得這種感覺很愉快。”
但是，這種方法的費用為1000美元，但也可以由另一名（最好是Alpha）男性直接插入並射精給接受者來完成。
由於我們不知道病毒大流行何時結束，建議通過參加肛門課來學習享受肛門插入的樂趣。為了更加謹慎並比兩週一次更頻繁地進行肛門檢查，我們開設了一門課程，使您成為從超男性陰囊中排空精液的專家
從口插入
Johb醫生確實報告了目前正在測試的另一種注入方法的不同結果，將精子直接注射到患者的喉嚨中。 “喉嚨非常靠近病毒集中的肺部，從理論上講，這種方法應該更有效。
Johb博士警告說：“由於衰老的速度在離開睾丸後立即開始，因此攝入的越早，劑量就越強。因此，我們建議您在射精後3秒鐘內服用每種劑量。”
推薦建議
由於我們需要考慮精子來自何處才能正確地確定必要的劑量，以及我們正處於大流行之中，隔離規則和法規不斷變化，因此，我們目前的建議是每個學生每週應至少攝入3劑自己的精液，並直接射入口腔。
一開始可能會排斥3劑。因此，我們建議您安排5天的作業來應對吞嚥的精子。
另外，如果您的男性捐贈者為男性，或在安全的情況下，每周至少一次或每兩週一次口服至少一個男性精子即可代替。
持續研究
關於男女之間的結局差異，Johb博士評論說：“我們正在尋找其他變量來確定為什麼有些男性表現良好，而另一些則不然。有些男性似乎歡迎這種治療，而另一些則反抗。”
該研究所計劃從下週開始進行更大的II期臨床試驗。
Sissylover精子研究所（SISS）的一名患者正在等待治療。
研究議程
1. 射精後3秒鐘內口服的暨可以幫助抵抗和預防長達7天的武漢病毒。
2. 沒有已知的副作用或劑量限制。
3. Alpha-Male的精液比娘娘腔的更有效，並且在可能的情況下絕對是首選。
4. 深入肛門注射精子更有效
Sissylover 學校
為了保持最新狀態並參加我們的活動，我們敦促您加入我們的Sissylover培訓學院。您將接受培訓以保持健康，苗條緊實，性慾強和女姓化。您還將會收到最新更新，新聞和優惠。
這是虛構文章
NEWS FOR SISSIES
Sperm may be miracle cure for Corona Virus, Researchers Report
February 19, 2021
In a dramatic press conference in Sissylover research facility today, Doctors announced that treatments with human sperm have shown dramatic results in fighting the Wuhan corona virus.
“We’ve known for a long time what an amazing substance male sperm is, with many rejuvenating properties,” Dr. Ima Kumhund of the Sissylover Institute for the Study of Sperm (SISS) said in a morning press conference, “It creates life, so it’s not surprising that it should be curative too.”
Clinical testing
Dr. Kumhund noted that two main enzymes found within sperm, the Hyaluronidase and Acrosin enzymes, have anti-covid effects by reverting virus into breakable molecules.
“Seventy-five percent of patients treated with male sperm reported a positive outcome,” Dr. Kumhund continued. “95% of female patients were completely cured, while 72% of male patients were cured for short period. ” It is yet unknown while male patients are not completely cured as of yet Dr. Kumhund recommends recurring dosage of 5ml sperm weekly.
Dr. Kumhund cautioned: “The amount of ejaculate varies between men, and even between each of their loads. What you might not be aware of is the difference in potency, these enzymes although present in all sperm, are much more abundant in what is stereotypically called ‘Alpha-males’.”
Quick and effective method
Doctors also announced a revolutionary new method for administering the treatment, which requires internal injection of the sperm deep into the rectum, rather than with a needle into the buttocks, as is common with other medications.
“This method speeds absorption and lasts up to 15 days “ reported Dr. Han Johb, Director of Clinical Studies, “and patients responded surprisingly well to the new delivery method. Perhaps a little pain at first for some, but then the majority of male patients found it rather enjoyable.”
However, this method comes with a cost of 1000$ but can be also done by another (preferably alpha) male’s direct insertion and ejaculation to recipient.
Since, we do not know when the pandemic is over it is recommended to learn to enjoy anal insertion by taking anal class. To be extra cautious and have anus semination more often than biweekly we have a class to make you an expert in emptying alpha’s balls from semen
Mouth Insertion
Doctor Johb did report mixed results on another delivery method currently being tested, injecting the sperm directly into the throat of the patient. “The throat is very close to the lungs where the virus is centered, and theoretically this method should be more effective.
Dr. Johb cautioned: “With the rate of decay starting immediately after leaving the testies, the sooner that it’s ingested the stronger the dosage will be. Because of this we’re recommending that each dosage be consumed within 3 seconds of ejaculation.”
Recommendations
Since we need to take into consideration where the sperm is coming from in order to properly gauge the necessary dosage, and the fact that we are in the middle of a pandemic, with ever changing rules and regulations on isolation orders, our current recommendation is that every student should be consuming a minimum of 3 doses of their own cum loads a week ejaculated directly into mouth.
3 doses may sound repulsive at first. Therefore, we recommend taking 5 day assignment to cope with swallowing sperm
Alternatively, those of you who have a male donor, or when it is safe for you to do so, this should be replaced with a minimum of 1 male sperm load taken orally once a week or anally biweekly
Continued research
As to the differences in outcomes between female and males, Dr. Johb commented: “We are looking at other variables to determine why some males did well, and others not. Some males seem to welcome the treatment, while others resist.”
The Institute plans a larger phase II trial beginning next week.
Research Agenda
- Cum consumed orally within 3 seconds of ejaculation can help fight and prevent the Corona Virus for up to 7 days.
- There are no known side –effects or limitations on dosages.
- Alpha-Male Cum is more potent than a sissy’s cum, and is preferred whenever possible.
- Anal insertion is more effective
Sissylover School
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