2011年6月24日 星期五

想要豐滿好身材 求諸人工不如靠自己


愛美的女生,都很在意自己的身材。三軍總醫院中醫部主治醫師林高士表示,女生為了好身材而到外面求診,總會有難為情、感到難以啟齒的情形,像這種情況,不如自行準備木瓜豐乳湯,幫自己補一補,不求人,讓男人一手無法掌握。
林高士醫師指出,木瓜豐乳湯能調補氣血,健胸豐乳。需自行準備豬腳1隻、青木瓜1個、花生2兩、鹽巴1小匙、米酒1小匙、薑片少許、西洋參2錢、白朮3錢、伏苓3錢、炙甘草2錢、葛根3錢、通草1錢、枸杞5錢、紅棗5粒、大茴香1粒。
林高士醫師進一步指出,木瓜豐乳湯的做法很簡單,先將西洋參、白朮、伏苓、炙甘草、葛根、通草、枸杞、紅棗、大茴香等中藥材洗乾淨後放入鍋子內,加水3杯,燒開後轉小火熬煮至1杯,然後過濾取藥汁備用。
將豬腳切成塊、洗乾淨川燙一下,並用熱油炸約5分鐘後濾掉乾油,花生用熱水泡約1個鐘頭去外膜,青木瓜削去外皮切成塊狀;拿一個鍋子,放入豬腳、花生和青木瓜,然後倒入藥汁再加6杯水,用小火煮至豬腳和花生爛熟,再加鹽巴、米酒調味即可。

2011年6月22日 星期三

[轉] 像「_也」 這樣的一個女子——訪問變性人Yannes

2010-11-09 11:04:13


訪問:Echo, Kitty, Javier

文:Javier

我們究竟是男,還是女?

「我在幼稚園的時候已經覺得自己跟周遭的男孩子不同,每堂排隊上廁所的時候,我都會很自然地排在女孩子隊伍中,每次都要老師像『夾公仔』般把我夾回男生的隊伍中。到了小學,由於我是下午班,而哥哥則返全日制,每朝趁媽媽去買菜,家中只剩我一個人的時候,我都會打開媽媽的衣櫃,換上她的衣服,做回自己。我真的覺得媽媽的衣服很漂亮,我著上身後亦覺得自己很美,很自然,比起那討厭的褲子,感覺舒服得多。由小到大,沒有人教,自己很自然的會像女孩子般坐著如廁,每次被媽媽見到都會很嬲地罵我。我從來不明白為什麼我不可以坐著去廁所……

升上中學後,在性教育課時,老師說了一句我當時覺得很震撼的一句說話:『有陽具的就是男孩子』,原來那東西令我成為男性,就是男性這組詞令我不能穿上自己喜歡的裙。青春期的時候,不明所以地有個男同學很喜歡玩健身,於是我跟其他同學都跟著去玩,想著是不是練大隻一點,我就可以更像『男性』,結果是……這些玩意不是屬於我的。」

我眼前的Yannes是一個很標緻的女生,她在訪問中給我們看了一張當「她還是他」的時候的一張證件相。平頭裝的他,雄赳赳的很有男子氣慨,很難與眼前的她連上關係。

「也許我是較幸運的一位,不是所有人的外表都有著兩面性,使人較易接受她們的形象。以前我只是想做一個別人能夠接受到的形象(即所謂的普通人),我曾經結過婚,夫妻之間的生活一定牽涉到性,但我本身不太喜歡自己的性器官,所以要用它來取悅妻子的時候,是一個挑戰,同時是一種痛苦。我無法從自己與妻子的性愛過程中得到快感,只是學著AV中男主角高潮時的神態,扮作很享受,當作交功課,速速完事,盼妻子不察覺自己的異樣。相比陰道交,我較喜歡以Lesbian的方式(如愛撫)做愛。說實話,當初選擇結婚以為可以迫使自己做一個男人,想自己可以改變,迎合別人對我的期盼,但其實是不行的。過了約一年半後,我便與太太離婚,原因並非她發現我有想變性的想法,而是她在外面有第三者。」

Yannes 跟我們說,她現在已經過了兩年的全裝生活(註1),但這過程中一路並不好走。

「其實家人一直都反對我進行變性,平時回家吃飯的時候,他們都會利用不同的言詞向我施壓,希望我改變。甚至乎有次試過回家吃飯的時候,家人罵得很兇,有段時間我都不太想回家吃飯。我現在唯有慢慢地讓他們適應,平時有親戚到訪的時候,我都會作一個中性的打扮,父母都要面子,這樣做起碼令他們較為好受。

而且在香港,沒有專科部門處理我們的需求。因為變性(手術)涉及很多部門的處理,包括精神科、心理醫生、內科(藥物——荷爾蒙藥的使用)、整型外科等等,我們首先要經精神科醫生證實我們有「病」(性別認同障礙),才可以再作進一步的安排。香港缺乏這方面的服務,使我們很多時候要光顧私人的精神科醫生、心理醫生等,又要根據前人的配方自己配服荷爾蒙藥,經濟稍差的朋友則需要花很多的時間才能獲醫生接見。」

Yannes快將會進行變性手術,切除生殖器,及造人工陰道,由被醫生「證實」到做手術前這期間,她需要長期向精神科醫生報告,看看是否真的適合變性生活。望著Yannes期待了廿多年終於可以做回自己的樣子,筆者打從心為她高興。人的性別本身並非一個絕對的黑白光譜,只有喜歡(具有女性生殖器的)女生的(具有男性生殖器的)男生或相反的性別定型,繼而把其他一切的可能性排拒。Yannes 曾引用她朋友的一句說話:「當我們連自己的性別都無法簡單地說出是男是女的時候,又怎能要求另一半是男是女呢?」這正好說明性/別本身不可以二分,像變性朋友般,他們根本不能簡單地歸入男/女的分野之中。

他人眼中的性別都未必是我們自己認為的性別,對於自己身體的掌控,甚至自己性別的展現,都應由我們作主!在面對最真誠的自己的時候,不妨問一個最根本的問題——究竟我是誰?

註1:換了一個性別身份(sexual identity)後的生活

==============================我是分隔線===================================

像它這樣的一個資源中心

文:echo

如上文所說,Yannes是一位準備變性的朋友,亦因為這個身份,她成為跨性別資源中心的核心成員。跨性別(transgender)不止指變性人(transsexual),亦包括易服(cross- dressing)及扮裝(transvestite)。在香港,跨性別仍然是一個陌生的議題,法官也認為要多加討論(註1)。跨性別資源中心作為本港唯一的關注組織,正默默起革命。


無資源無中心的資源中心

Yannes笑稱,跨性別資源中心這名稱只有「跨性別」三個字是對的,因為中心根本無資源無會址(只有網頁)。中心於2007年正式註冊,前身是HK CD Family(註2)。政府並無向中心提供任何資助,中心一直以申請外國機構的基金為收入,有時去大學做分享順便賺些車馬費幫補。Yannes表示,如果有足夠資金,都想租個會址。除了資金短缺,人手不足同樣是一大困難。頭兩年幾乎沒有人辦事,中心形同虛設。現在人手比較多了,可以分工合作,例如一些主力宣傳,一些負責網頁等。但因為中心沒有能力聘請全職員工,運作仍得靠會員自行抽時間支撐。

中心的主要工作是教育大眾和團結社群。中心希望透過教育,令公眾多瞭解跨性別這個議題,減少歧視。除大學以外,中心還致力爭取到中學分享經驗。不難想像,一個跨性別的組織要進入中學,會遇到很大阻力,尤其是不少中學有宗教背景。中心寄出的信件和打出的電話,不是音訊全無就是遭拒絕。但中心依然主動出擊,最近終於可以到大埔一所中學辦講座,連Yannes都感到意外。 中心打算將「平等人權」的概念帶入中學,讓學生明白跨性別人士爭取應有的權益是合情合理。另一方面,中心會為跨性別社群提供協助,如往哪裡看醫生、看哪一科、情緒輔導、工作上的不平等待遇等,解決生活上的困難,「幫番自己人」,團結力量。


醫生:想變性?唔係我負責喎……

對於想變性的朋友來說,中心提供的服務當中,最切身的莫過於關於變性手術的指引。Yannes說,香港現時沒有專門的醫療團隊負責變性這個漫長的過程,他/她們每個都幾乎試過不知該往哪個部門「求診」的滋味——到底是心理、精神病、外科還是哪個都不是?他/她們就如人球一樣,被踢來踢去。何況醫生也不一定能「對症下藥」,當想變性的朋友問醫生自行服藥是否可行,他們有時只說沒有副作用就可以。所以不少變性人會到外地做手術,一來可以避過用幾年時間去証明自己有病的精神及心理治療,二來手勢純熟。這正正顯示出現時本港醫療體制的嚴重不足——沒有人手沒有技術,部門間的協調亦十分混亂。其實以前曾經有過「性別認同小組」,專門為跨性別人士提供服務,後來因為醫療改革而被分拆了。由此可見,成立專門小組是可能 的。Yannes說最近有醫生正在組織一支專門小組,一條龍處理變性人的問題。變性人承受著自己錯配的壓力和精神病的汙名,醫療體制上的一點便利可以減輕他/她們的痛苦,有必要盡快展開,而且經驗、技術和人手等都需要時間去累積。


另一種資源與出路

談到跨性別人士在香港性別運動中所擔當的角色,Yannes一再強調,他/她們不是要特權,而是爭取你有我有的合理權益。中心還會聯合其他性別組織去搞運動,目的是團結力量,有商有量,總比單獨行動好。舉個例說,中心會與同性戀團體討論同性婚姻,雖然雙方有時意見不同——同志團體不同意變性人「異性戀」的婚姻概念,但都會異中求同,目前就希望讓更多的性小眾進入主流建制,從內而外地鬆動建制,長遠的目標則是取消一男一女的婚姻定義,只要兩個人同意就可結婚。如果期望大量資源暫時是不可能,那麼結合力量是欠缺資源的組織的另一出路吧。要有跨性別資源中心和其他友好組織的聲音,要有它們作為媒介引起廣泛討論,才能令大家明白跨性別人士,那才是法官所指的討論吧。



註 1:早前變性人爭取婚姻的官司雖被判敗訴,但法官認為這不是終結,社會反而應藉此進行更多的討論。

註 2:HK CD Family即自由(講)場,是網上有關跨性別的討論區。

參考:小曹,「性別國手——訪問袁維昌醫生」

[sissieslifeandtimes] Training the male Part 5

Training the male Part 5

Bed time is an especially important time for training. The male should have an early bed time and often have it changed to even earlier. For example I love to send Sissie to bed while he has started to enjoy something like a TV show or when guests are over and he has served his purpose. To say, "Sissie I think it's your bed time, go get ready for bed and come back and tell everyone goodnight before you go to sleep" is especially gratifying. The looks on the faces of the guests as they see him hang his head and go off to do as he was told is priceless.

When he returns though it gets even better as he is required to wear only the shortest and frilliest nighties. He also wears fluffy slippers and carries a baby doll. But there is more to it than meets the eye. For example he must insert a butt plug and keep his padded bra on. These help to remind him of what he is. He also wears a tight corset 24/7 so this does not get removed. Once he is all ready he must stand in front of a full length mirror for a full five minutes turning and getting various views of himself. I have a remote camera trained on his standing spot so he does not know if I am watching or not.

The purpose of the mirror is imprint on his mind his image as a sissy. He sees real men and real women as my guests and then sees himself. He must subconsciously compare himself to these others and it helps his mind accept what he is. When he returns to the bed room he must repeat this process before retiring.

But before he gets to go to sleep he must appear in front of the guests and say goodnight offering a curtsey and modeling his night wear. Most of them he has made and I will comment on this as, "Did you make that pretty nighty Sissie". "Yes Ma'am." Why did you choose that color and style?" I love Pink Madam and I chose the style because I am such a sissy I think it's what I should wear."

"Do you have your Butt plug in?" "Yes Ma'am". "Which one?" "The 8 inch Black one Ma'am". "That's your favorite one isn't it Sissie, you really do choose that one a lot". "Yes Ma'am, it reminds me of Master Ma'am". "Very good choice, do turn down my bed and sleep in your pet bed as Roger and I will be in after our guests leave". "Yes, Ma'am."

You will notice that I give him orders in front of my guests and that I refer to the bed as MY bed and his place to sleep as your pet bed. My words and actions speak of my power and control. His speak of his weakness and submissiveness. He has just been seen as a pansy, a cuckold and a spineless twit and there is no way to pretend he is anything else or to take it back and hide it.

If I am feeling particularly adventurous I will have him perform the "I'm a little teapot song and dance before going to bed. I also often ask him to tell everyone his dollies name. Or to take his time walking but to shake it as he does. Anything to set his mind to thinking very deeply about my power and his lack thereof. To demonstrate in front of others his inferior subservient position and how easy it is o control and manipulate him. These things may seem very humiliating or even cruel to some but the fact is that as he accepts them it makes him a much better person and in time he actually comes to enjoy this sort of treatment. It allows him to validate what he is.

This type of attention is extremely important in making sure he recognizes you as the only authority in his life and does what you say without question. The other night I had Sissie do all of these things and then before sending him to bed I told him, "Sissie I think your mouth needs some stretching go and get your favorite penis gag. He has two one is white and one is Black. I don't know that the Black one is actually his favorite on but he knows it's mine so that's what he gets. When he returned I had him turn and face my 5 guests while I strapped it in place on him making sure his head was high and not hanging down to hide.

Many comments are heard as he sashays down the hall to once again stand in front fo th mirror after having gone through this training and then to bed where his subconscious will relive it all night long imprinting on his mind what he is hoe he must obey.

Madam Rebecca