Girdles - a journey into fantasy and back (renew)

http://kbadley.tripod.com/girdles.htm
This story is about FALSE GUILT that can be caused by parents, churches, or other people in power, and the other problems that are caused by this form of "Legalism". If the Bible does not condemn something, or the law from the Old Testiment does not apply in this era (like animal sacrifice etc.). Do not burden your children with your own "rituals, customs, dos and don'ts, and preferences" by enforcing your rules as if they are from GOD.


You ask: "What is wrong with wearing a girdle?" and that is the point. Some people can have problems with ordinary things.

When I was eleven years old I found a box of old bras and girdles in the storage room in the basement. I was overweight and knew from the television advertisements that grown women used girdles to make them look slimmer.

I asked my step mother if I could play with these. She said that she didn't think that I could fit in them. The type of girdles my step mother had stored away were the open bottom type, with front, back and some with side panels, they must have been many years old. They all had zippers on the side and some were high waist styles with bones to keep them from rolling from the waist. There was a variety of styles, mostly in good repair, but some had holes, torn zipper hooks, and torn garters tabs. All were worn in spots and some had lost their elastic power. I tried some of them on and they did fit. They were tight and they did make me look slightly slimmer and a lot less bulging in places.

When I moved around wearing one of the girdles, some tops rolled over and the bottom with the garters rode up exposing my butt and the garters poked me. This wouldn't be practical for wearing under pants and would be very uncomfortable. How did women wear these everyday without going crazy. The answer was stockings. I went to my step mother's dresser, took some, put them on, and hooked them up to the girdle. This worked for the bottom, but the top still rolled. By adjusting the top to match my natural waist and put on some pants with a belt, the rolling top was kept in place.

I went upstairs with the girdle, stockings, and pants on. I felt slimmer, but not as comfortable. The girdle's tightness made me feel stiff and harder to take a deep breath and the area around the garters and the top of the stockings pulled and pinched. Also my personal parts were not covered and felt naked. I would need to wear underpants over or under the girdle. I thought this would work and tried it. I decided to try to wear a girdle and stockings etc. when ever I wanted. There were no sexual thoughts and no shame involved. Just a method of looking better, but less comfortable. Besides, half of the adults wore them, even though they didn't like to admit it. They were called unmentionables. When I looked in the mirror while wearing a girdle, I saw that my butt looked similar to the butts of ladies in girdle adds. Now I could also tell whether a woman or girl was wearing one. They looked like they had one big cheek, instead of two separate cheeks and felt hard instead of soft.

When one of my friends came over to play and watch TV, I told him about wearing girdles and showed them to him. My friend didn't seem to think wearing a girdle to look thinner was weird and strange. If they made girdles for men, fat men could wear them, but since they didn't, these would do. To him, woman's clothes, in general, were weird. Later my friend told his older sister and she asked if I also wore brassieres, but I didn't know that a bra was short for brassiere, and I said what is that? I had tried on my step mother's bras but with no busts, found that they were useless to me.

I told my stepmother that I was wearing the girdles I had found and she was interested, but not alarmed. She thought it was kind of cute as I paraded around playing dress up, wearing just girdles and stockings. I was curious as to why she wore these types of girdles and not the new ones advertised on TV. I thought that the Playtex rubber girdles would do the best job. She said that she had tried them, but got a rash from them. She said that she hated to wear bras and girdles, but had to, because fashion dictated that as a woman she had to wear certain clothes. This stuck with me, I liked to wear a girdle, and couldn't see why women wore things that they said they hated to wear. I guessed that wearing one every day and being uncomfortable for prolonged period could make them hate girdles, like a slow torture or punishment. But if girdles were made comfortable, then everyone could enjoy looking better, including boys and men, especially fat ones.

My childhood background was one of lost love and rejection. I was adopted into a good loving family and my adopted mother loved my like her own, but in three years she died of cancer. Eventually my adopted father remarried a much younger lady, who was the daughter of one of my housekeepers that babysat me while I was too young for school. By the time I started first grade, I had a step brother and since he was a blood relation, I was treated like a stranger that was a threat to the new heir. I was then shipped off to various boarding schools so that I had little contact with my father, family, or any body except strangers.

When I was three and living with an aunt, while my adopted mother was dying, she dressed me in very frilly dresses, at my request, she thought it was cute, but the novelty wore off. While in third grade and staying with my dad's partner, between boarding schools, I was placed in his oldest girl's room, and I got into her stuff, and got trapped in her underwear and had to cut my way out. This caused a large scene and embarrassed my father.

After a year in a Canadian boarding school for 4th grade, I was sent to Maryland to spend the summer with friends of my father, who had several of their own kids and lived on a farm outside of Baltimore. While there, an older recently married couple who worked for a supplier of both my father and his friend met me. They were too old to have kids and also could not adopt a baby. They wanted to take care of me, and eventually adopt me. They blamed all that happened to me on my father's new wife, and started to take the necessary legal adoption steps.

I lived in Virginia with them and started to really enjoy life for the first time. But within two years we were transferred to Cleveland Ohio. I lost all my friends and went from the suburbs to an apartment on Cleveland's west side. This was an unwelcome shock and I made my displeasure known by refusing to obey and to sass back. These people did not know how to handle a willful child and also thought I was damaged goods. They called my father and dumped me. My father was also looking for a dumping place and considered permanent places to off-load me. This made me feel like so much trash. After all, first my step mother, and then these people turned on me. I must be bad and deserved to be punished.

A Christian couple whose daughter was in college and had lost a baby, that was about my age heard of my situation. This couple were also friends of my father through company connections. They became my guardians and I considered them my new step parents. They tried to love me and lead me to the Lord, but the damage was done. I went from the leader to a loner that trusted no adults, and my self image was at its bottom. Thus when I found the girdles I was looking for love, being held, punishment, something of my own, and a replacement for my lost mother. As shown above, with my background, all adults were suspicious of my every deviation from the norm.

Having fun wearing girdles continued for several months that summer. I played with the girdles in many places on the body, including over the head, wearing more them one girdle at one time, having my entire body in girdles while they were hooked together with the garters, and many other combinations. I enjoyed to be tied up in these as my punishment, and imagined being trapped in dire situations, at other's mercy, with no escape. The situations were similar to the heroines in the melodramas on the TV. This was something that I did while I was alone watching TV in the basement and lying on the couch. My friends had gone to summer camp and the playground at the nearby school was not available because of a summer program. I attended the summer program for one week, but was not good at sports, and hated being made fun of because of my weight and lack of skills. So I played alone with all my toys, rode my bike around the neighborhood, and read books when the TV was boring. But with all my friends gone it was a very boring summer. I spent a lot of time talking with my step mother about everything, including girdles, boys, and girls. I said I didn't want to get married, and that most girls did not have any fun.

Later that summer, my step parents went on vacation and I went to New York with them to visit their daughter (my new step-sister), then in graduate bible school to be a missionary. From there all of them, including my step sister drove to Canada to visit friends at their summer cottage on a lake in Ontario. By now the girdles were left behind and forgotten like other toys. This vacation get away was great, and who cares about clothes of any kind when swimming, camping out, hiking, boating, fishing, playing games, etc. are available. This lasted for 3 weeks, too short a time when having fun.

When they returned, I had a step sister to talk to and play with. But she had other plans that to play with me. She returned to college and I went to Junior Hi.

With a new set of friends and a schedule of classes, including gym three times a week, a new phase to my life started. I wore my girdles on non gym days, when I felt like it. I was afraid that the others would laugh at me, or think I was weird if they saw me wearing a girdle and stockings as I undressed in the locker room. I was already sensitive about being overweight, and being discovered wearing a girdle would bring more attention and teasing. Besides wearing anything different would open me up to more teasing.

The fear of embarrassment was also emphasized to me by my step mother before junior high school started. She didn't want to get a call from school and have people think she was allowing or causing me to do strange things. It seemed to me that someone talked to her and she had changed her attitude, she was now actively trying to discourage me from wearing girdles for the reason that she would be embarrassed by what people might think. Now she wanted to make me feel that it was wrong to wear any grown women's clothing. She found a Bible verse in the Old Testament that forbid the wearing of clothes of the opposite sex. This seemed strange to me because she wore pants and shorts that looked like men's clothing. If women can wear men's clothing whenever they want, why can't I wear something any other woman wears, especially when no one can see it. If this garment helps me look better, why not wear it and who cares. That verse must not apply today, or else every woman in pants would be as guilty as a man in a dress. And besides, in some lands men wear kilts, lava lavas, caftans, and other dress like clothes. Who determines what belongs to which sex?

She then told me about the men who wore woman's clothes and women who wore men's clothes - homosexuals and how they were hated by society, totally immoral, and how that even a hint of this would ruin both me and the family's reputation. The terms Fag, Queer, Homo, Lesbian, Dyke, Drag Queen, Transvestite, Pervert, S&M, and Fairy now had definitions instead of vague terms of derision used by kids. This danger of being called something really bad, and having people believe it, put fear in me and suddenly wearing an innocent garment became a sin. She must have thought I was turning into a homo. But soon I finally put it all together, it isn't what you wear, as much as why you wear it. If I was wearing these girdles to tempt people to do wrong - to get them sexually excited, to excite myself, or to trick people into thinking I was something I was not, then it would be wrong. But if I wore them to look better it was okay. But people would think the worst if they knew I wore them, even though I was doing nothing wrong. The wearing of anything different would cause people to make fun of me, no matter what it was. The fashion police - (peer pressure) works when all other logic fails. Thus it should be a secret to the outside world.

This off and on wearing of girdles continued throughout seventh grade, but now it was something to be guilty about. It was a big secret, I was afraid to get caught and this excited me, but I wore them much less and only on non-gym days. Now the opposite sex started to become more interesting. Also the weight problem became less of an issue as I grew taller I slimmed down. I didn't know what the opposite sex looked like naked and I thought that kissing could make babies, but didn't know how. As we grew up some girls started to get more shapely, they began to wear bras, nylons, heels, and girdles. I could tell by looking, bumping ,or brushing against them as they walked between classes. A hard feeling meant that she was wearing a girdle. This kind of excited me, knowing that I also wore one. I didn't care about bras, or whether it was stuffed, but there were many rumors as to who was wearing "falsies".

As the summer started the same boredom started. And again I spent a lot of time alone in front of the TV on the couch in the basement. Also I played with wearing girdles in many ways, but now it was not in front of my step mother, since it seemed to really upset her.

One morning I awoke with a strange feeling which I later learned was sexual arousal. It felt very good, and I couldn't wait to repeat this feeling. I tried to do the same thing as caused the feeling, and it repeated. It was great. I told my step mother, but she said don't do it, it wasn't nice. But I did it anyway, over and over. Then I tried it wearing a girdle, it helped me and I continued to do it.

I was taught that having sex before marriage was immoral and will cause many unpleasant side effects, including getting beat up by my step parents. But I could fantasize and arouse myself anytime I wanted, with or without wearing a girdle. This was a compromise that solved the problems. But was this wrong? Many people in the church would not even admit that this even happened to them, and I was not going to volunteer that I did something strange. But I suspected that, since it was pleasurable, people thought it was wrong.

Now instead of wearing a girdle all day and to look slimmer, the girdle was also worn for sexual arousal and then taken off. Also they were worn at night in bed where no one would see. As the sex with ones self continued and the wearing of girdles during the arousal continued, the link and fantasies about girdles and other underwear items grew. The fact that this was now forbidden fruit, made the fantasy sexier.

To wear grown up woman's clothes without someone ruining my reputation, started my fantasy about being a grown woman. If I was already a woman I could, without fear, wear not only the grown up underwear but dresses and heels. I tried on my step mother's clothes and shoes, the complete ensemble. They actually fit, though I had to stick socks in the bra. I tried on one of my step mother's wigs, but my head was too large. The shoes were also very uncomfortable. Everything was placed back in its place and no one suspected.

On Halloween night I dressed up as a sexy woman, using my mother's clothes and no one gave me any problem.

Then a disaster, the storm struck while I was in school. The basement was flooded, and my step parents threw away the couch and all the underwear that was stored in the basement. They thought that this would end this underwear problem as well as get rid of the soaked junk. But it was only the beginning. For a while the problem was trying to not do it and not wear girdles. But the urge kept growing and soon I was sneaking into my step mother's underwear drawer and carefully removing the garments, arousing myself, and then returning them to the drawer. The opportunities for this were regularly scheduled, my step parents went to Wednesday prayer meeting, and Sunday night church services. I had to do my homework, so could not go. While they were away, I could do what I wanted.

When I started to work on a paper route, I had some money, so I could buy my own girdles. But this presented a problem, how to go into a store and get the right size and how to ask for one from the clerk and not look suspicious. I decided on the one I wanted and used a tape measure and the instructions from a Sears catalog to guess the size. I went to the store and asked for one, the clerk assumed that it was for my mother and if asked, I would say, sure. It was too easy. I couldn't wait to try it on. It was too big. Nothing is more useless than a too large girdle, it just falls off. But it could be taken in by folding and stitching up one of the panels, it worked, but looked gross and felt as bad. Next time I would get the smallest size available. Now the problem was storage. Where to hide it so that my step mother would not throw it away and get me punished. Behind the books in the bookcase, behind the sink, under chairs and inside the padding, under the mattress, inside the crawl spaces, etc. As time went on, my step mother would search my room and find my girdles, burn them, and punish me. I would buy or steal new ones, hide them and continue to wear them. This would be repeated over and over until that fateful summer.

I still would try on my step mother's underwear while she was away, but now I could wear what I wanted when I wanted. I bought and tried wearing panty girdles, rubber girdles, briefs, and all in ones. All were sexy and aroused me. I also accompanied my step mother to the "Corset shop" when she bought her underwear. This was the ultimate turn on, without actually doing anything. Just to look at and imagine trying on each of these items, like my step mother, was very thrilling and kept my fantasies going for days. But soon she caught on and I spent this time in the car, whenever she made a purchase. My fantasy was to try the ultimate risk, go into a corset shop and actually try the corsets and other corsetry on and buy the real high class girdles. But I was too scared. The sales lady could tell my mother, laugh, or throw me out.

The critical time came when my step sister was about to be married, my step mother bought a couple of girdles and kept them without wearing them. I could not resist, a new tight girdle was there to try on, and I did. But in doing so it got dirty, and washing it only made it worse. Now my step mother knew I was still wearing her underwear. She decided to call in the shrink.

The shrink was a "Christian psychiatrist" but used the classic Freudian logic. With my past rejection by my adopted parents, rejection by another family that wanted to adopt me, and the being sent away to various parochial and private schools there was many hours of exploring useless memories, and blaming everybody else in my life. The result of months of therapy was no help and a large set of bills. This kid enjoyed wearing girdles and no shrink could convince me that it was worth giving up. If I had someone to have sex with, I would not need substitutes, but this was not possible at my age, or in the morals of the day.

The doctor finally came up with an alternative cure that was to use pain and suffering to make girdles something that reminded me of pain instead of sexual pleasure. The solution was to make me wear girdles all the time. This reverse psychology seemed to work for most women, they were forced to wear them and were glad to get them off. This would happen in the summer, when no one would see me naked, and my underwear could be controlled..

But the next part was like my fantasies were coming true. My step mother took me to buy the girdles I would wear, at the "corset shop". I accompanied her into the room in the back of the store, but instead of her putting on the girdles, I did. I was embarrassed but my step mother did not let the sales girls see me naked. They just passed the girdles to my step mother and she gave them to me to try on. We bought a week's worth of girdles, (8) in all, size extra small, and a dozen pairs of stockings (if I wanted to wear them). I thought I had gone to heaven. The girdles I chose were Playtex "Golden panty girdles". They were fabric lined rubber and went down to mid thigh, they were waist line girdles, with a zipper and a split nylon tricot crotch. They had detachable garters, so I could wear nylons if I wanted. But in the summer, the girdles were hot enough without stockings. These girdles had a grid of small holes and a cloth lining to "ventilate them" and an embossed pattern in the rubber that looked like flowers. The crotch and inside leg panels were of tricot, which eventually had runners like the nylon stockings. The split crotch allowed me to pee, without taking the girdle off. It was unusual wearing all this while peeing, it felt like peeing in ones pants.

But when I returned to my room and felt like taking it off. This would be harder than I first thought. But I had made a deal. I would wear the girdle every day this summer, and then if I still wanted to, I could wear girdles around the house and under my clothes any time I wanted. There would be no punishment, sneaking, stealing, hiding, and guilt.


The first night was hell, the girdle was torture, it chaffed, pinched, and was a general crushing pain. Later, the sensitive areas soon callused up. The girdle was the same as I was used to, but by the end of the day, I wanted to take it off, long before bed, but I couldn't, my mom had to check me before I went to bed. This was done with a simple pat on the butt, but very revealing. The same thing happened in the morning and at random times during the day. Also there was no other underwear available. My step mother washed these girdles weekly and she could tell when they were worn. My friends again had left for summer camp, so this was another boring summer. Meanwhile the girdles caused me to be constipated and have headaches often. I still had the paper route, and again I rode around the neighborhood alone most of the time. Part of the deal was to not tell anybody about my situation. So some people thought I was stiff from sports activities. At times I would play with the friends that were not at camp, but they never seemed to guess I was wearing this stuff.

Meanwhile the girdles continued to get on my nerves. When I, in the past, chose to wear them they were a temporary pain. Now after a few days, they really were getting to be a growing bother, a slow torture. They were never really comfortable, and though I was actually getting used to wearing them, I thought that I never would make it all summer. As the days slowly went on I tried to renegotiate the deal, stop this now and I will never wear a girdle again. But the deal was for the whole summer and that was that. She reminded me that I could wear a dress, skirt, and any other clothes any time, while in the house, but that didn't really interest me at this time. In a mirror, I looked like a girl that hadn't developed busts yet. And now I thought I knew what it was like to be a woman. I really didn't want to stay a girl too long. At one time I thought it would be great to be a woman and get to wear all these neat clothes. Now, I wasn't so sure.

The need to punish myself and a lack of unconditional love, because of my background, was brought out by the therapy and was shown to be part of the reason that I chose to be excited by girdles instead of other lingerie etc. This treatment was also to burn away the guilt and that need to fantasize about hurting myself or being punished by others. Real pain stopped the need for an imagined pain. And this summer would help stop this urge also. This type of pain was like a slow, constant dripping instead of an injury. The chaffing, the riding up, the rolling over, the extra stress level, and the problems with constipation and headaches, eventually passed and the constant pressure on the gut suppressed my appetite and helped me lose some more weight.
After a month in girdles all day, every day from wake up to bed time, I was used to wearing them, and I felt undressed without them. But I learned to not have a longing for them, at least the ones I was wearing. They were hot and sweaty, and showed wear. The ones in the catalog and the ones in the stores still intrigued me. This was the grass is greener syndrome. It would take longer to get over this, it was the thrill of acquiring the next one, and the thrill of trying on new types. Also the pictures of women wearing girdles in the catalogs and on the models were very exciting to me. Was this a normal lust? My fantasy was wearing the girdle, feeling it hug me, and then I would look just like the model.


The other side of the treatment was lots of unconditional love, communication, and being held by my step mother. I would not have to do something good, or be somebody else to be loved, also I didn't have to be thin, very obedient, or be anything but myself. And I didn't have to prove my worth by doing anything special. This was the real deliverance and an alternative to all the self doubt and self image problems.

The summer dragged on and on. The fact that I was wearing this stuff became less and less of an issue, and was almost ignored. Only when a pinch of pain from the uncomfortable positioning of the garments caused me to realize that I was wearing them. And as the days kept going on, this became less of a problem. The fact that I lost some weight, also helped lessen the pressure on me and stopped the headaches and constipation problems. But the looser girdles did move around more on my body.

The treatment seemed to be working by the third month. A girdle was now, just another piece of underwear, and there was nothing special about them. You can wear them whenever you want, if you want to. Real love is better that lust, even if it is for a step mother, and is not sexually oriented.

As the summer ended the I didn't have to wear girdles any more. I could now wear girdles whenever I wanted. But I had enough wisdom not to take any chances with exposure to others outside the family. The fact that my wearing girdles was permitted, at least by my family, also discouraged thinking anything sexy about wearing girdles. Girdles still were more uncomfortable than regular underwear, but I was used to them and felt naked without one on. Only now there was no guilt and there were no secrets, no high drama, no sneaking around, no hiding, and lots of real love. I did wear a girdle, but the longing, the fear, and most of the sexual the excitement was gone. The summer of bondage had worked.

I knew I was okay, but also that some others would never understand. I would confide in a few about my past, and then risk their using this knowledge against me if our relationship changed. Since I had no shame about my underwear and it was no one else's business what I wore inside, except someone who would see me undressed, I could care less what strangers thought.

The deliverance from my past hurts came later, when I, in prayer, relived those painful memories. With the help of Jesus Christ I walked through the events mentioned and refelt the hurts, but this time they were permanently healed and I can talk about it. I am no longer sensitive about them, and this document helps prove it. You too can be healed by the power of Jesus Christ's love for you.

There are two items that this story doesn't cover.

1. There is real guilt caused by hurting yourself and others. This story does not say that this can be rationalized away.

2. You have a responsibility to not hurt other christians with your liberty from false guilt. If they are not ready for this, do not flaunt your knowledge and hurt them. If they think a thing is wrong and you don't, do not do it in front of them. They will either condemn you, or also do it (even though they think it is wrong) and feel guilty.

這故事是關於假內疚,通常是由家長,教會,或其他人的權力引起的,以及其他問題所造成的,這種形式的“(極端的)守法主義”。假如聖經沒有譴責的東西,或從舊 Testiment法律並不適用於這個時代(如動物的犧牲等等)。不負擔孩子用自己的“禮儀,習俗,DOS和注意事項,並喜好”的執行你的規則,如果他們是來自上帝。


你問:“穿緊身束腰有什麼不對?”這是一點。有些人有問題可以與普通的事情。

當我11歲,我發現一箱舊胸罩和緊身束腰的儲藏室在地下室。我知道超重和從電視廣告的成長婦女使用緊身束腰,使它們看起來更苗條。

我問我繼母媽媽,如果我能試穿這些。她說,她不認為我可以穿進去。該類型的緊身束腰我繼母母親存儲底部是開放型,前,後,一些側面板,他們必須已多年的歷史。他們都在旁邊有拉鍊和一些帶鋼絲的高腰款式,使他們從軋製從腰間。有各種不同的風格,主要是在良好的修復,但有些漏洞,拉鍊鉤破,破吊襪帶和標籤。戴在所有景點,一些人失去了彈性的權力。我嘗試了一些他們並沒有適合他們。他們很合身,他們讓我看起來稍微瘦和少了很多凸起的地方。

當我搬到附近的一個穿緊身束腰,有的上衣,下輾過與吊襪帶騎起來揭露我的屁股和吊襪帶戳我。這將是不切實際的,下穿長褲,將是非常不舒服。怎麼婦女每天穿這些都不會發瘋。答案是絲襪。我去了我的繼母母親的梳妝台,拿了些,穿上他們,和他們掛鉤到緊身束腰。這個工作的底部,但仍推出頂級。通過調整頂部符合我的腰,自然會把一些褲子用皮帶,滾動頂部被保存在的地方。

我去樓上的緊身束腰,襪子,褲子上。我感到苗條多了,但不一樣舒適。該帶的緊張使我感到僵硬,更難做深呼吸和周圍地區的吊襪帶和絲襪的頂部拉和擠壓。也是我個人的部分沒有涉及,覺得赤身裸體。我需要穿高腰內褲或者低腰的緊身束腰。我認為這會有用,並嘗試它。我決定嘗試穿上緊身束腰和襪子等當過我想要的。有沒有性的思想,沒有羞恥參與。就在尋找更好的方法,但不舒服。此外,有一半的成年人穿他們,即使他們不喜歡承認這一點。他們被稱為 unmentionables。當我看著鏡子裡戴著一個緊身束腰,我看到我的屁股看起來類似槍托在女裝緊身束腰說。現在,我還可以判斷一個女人或女孩穿著之一。他們看起來像他們有一個大的臉頰,而不是兩個獨立的臉頰,感覺硬而軟。

當我的一個朋友過來玩,看電視,我告訴他對穿著緊身束腰,顯示他們給他。我的朋友似乎並不想穿緊身束腰尋找更瘦很奇怪和陌生。如果他們作出緊身束腰,男性,肥胖男子可穿,但由於他們沒有,這會怎樣做。在他看來,女人的衣服,在一般情況下,被怪異。後來我的朋友告訴他的姐姐,她問我是否還穿胸罩,但我不知道,一對胸罩胸罩很短,我說那是什麼?我曾試圖對我的繼母母親的胸罩,但是沒有苗條,發現他們對我沒有用。

我告訴我的繼母,我是穿著緊身束腰我發現,她很感興趣,但不必驚慌。她以為那是種可愛,我打遊街打扮,穿著只是緊身束腰和長襪。我很好奇,為什麼她穿這類型的緊身束腰,而不是新的廣告在電視上。我認為,Playtex等橡膠緊身束腰會做最好用。她說,她曾嘗試過,但他們得到了皮疹。她說,她討厭穿胸衣和緊身束腰,但必須的,因為時尚決定了作為一個女人,她不得不穿一些衣服。這與我堅持,我喜歡穿緊身束腰,不能明白為什麼女人穿的東西,他們說他們討厭穿。我心想,每天穿一正不舒服,長時間可以讓他們恨緊身束腰,像一個緩慢的折磨或處罰。但是,如果提出了舒適的緊身束腰,然後每個人都會有更好的前瞻性,包括男孩和男人,特別是胖子。

我的童年背景是一個失去的愛,被拒絕。我是通過把一個充滿愛的家庭,我的好媽媽愛我想通過她自己的,但在3年裡,她死於癌症。最後,我的父親再婚通過一個更年輕的夫人,誰是女兒,我的一個女傭的babysat我,而我太年輕了學校。到時候,我一年級開始,我有一個哥哥和步驟,因為他是一個血的關係,我是一個陌生人當成威脅,這是一個新的繼承人。當時我遠赴各寄宿學校,讓我幾乎沒有接觸我的父親,家庭,或任何機構除外陌生人。

當我三歲和居住在姑姑,而我通過母親病危,她穿著我非常褶邊連衣裙,在我的要求,她認為這是可愛的,但新鮮感磨去了。而在三年級和逗留在我父親的合作夥伴之間的寄宿學校,我被安排在他最古老的姑娘的房間,我進了她的東西,並獲得被困在她的內衣,並把我的出路。這引起了大場景和尷尬我的父親。

一年後,在加拿大的寄宿學校四年級,我被送到馬里蘭州度過夏天,我與朋友的父親,誰有幾個孩子和自己住在一個農場以外的巴爾的摩。在那裡,一老夫婦最近誰工作了供應商都我的父親和他的朋友見到我。他們太老,也有孩子,也不能採取一個嬰兒。他們要照顧我,並最終通過了我。他們指責發生的一切給我的我的父親的新妻子,並開始採取必要的法律的通過步驟。
我住在弗吉尼亞州與他們開始真正享受人生的第一次。但兩年內,我們被轉移到美國俄亥俄州克利夫蘭。我失去了我所有的朋友,就從郊區的公寓就克里夫蘭騎士隊的西側。這是一個不受歡迎的震驚,我知道了我的不滿,拒絕服從和青菜回來。這些人不知道如何處理一個任性的孩子,也以為我是損壞的貨物。他們打電話給我父親和我傾倒。我的父親也在尋找一個地點傾倒,並認為永久性地卸下了我。這使我覺得像這麼多垃圾。畢竟,首先我的繼母,然後這些人打開了我。我一定是不好的,應受到懲罰。

基督徒夫婦,女兒上大學,並已失去了一個孩子,那是對我的年齡聽到我的處境。這對夫妻是我父親的朋友們也通過公司聯繫。他們成了我的監護人,我認為他們的父母我的新的一步。他們試圖愛我,使我的上帝,但損害已經造成。我從領導到一個孤獨的人是不信任的成年人,而我的自我形象是在其底部。因此,當我找到了緊身束腰我一直在尋找愛情,被關押,懲罰,我自己的東西,而取代為我失去了母親。如上所示,用我的背景,所有成年人都懷疑我的每偏離常態。

愛玩穿著緊身束腰持續了數個月的夏季。我玩的緊身束腰在很多地方的機構,包括對頭部,穿著更帶其中一人在同一時間,有我的整個身體,而他們在緊身束腰上連接在一起的吊襪帶,和許多其他組合。我喜歡被捆綁在這些作為我的處罰,並想像被困在嚴重情況下,在其他的憐憫,沒有逃脫。情況相似的女主人公在情節劇在電視上。這是我做的事,而我獨自一人看電視的地下室和躺在沙發上。我的朋友們去夏令營,在附近的學校操場沒有用,因為夏天的一個方案。我參加了為期一周的暑期課程,但不擅長體育,討厭被取笑,因為我的體重和缺乏技能。所以,我打我單獨與所有玩具,騎我的自行車在附近,看書時,電視是無聊。但我所有的朋友了這是一個很無聊的夏天。我花了很多時間討論與我母親有關的一切步驟,包括緊身束腰,男孩和女孩。我說我不想結婚,而且大多數女孩沒有任何樂趣。

後來那個夏天,我的繼父母去度假,我去紐約與他們看望女兒(我的新的一步,妹妹),然後在研究生聖經學校是一個傳教士。從那裡所有的人,包括我的步姐姐驅車前往加拿大探望朋友,在他們的夏季別墅就在安大略省的湖。現在的緊身束腰被留下,忘記了像其他玩具。這是偉大的度假脫身,誰在乎任何種類的衣服時,游泳,露營,登山,划船,釣魚,玩遊戲等可供選擇。這持續了3週,太短的時候獲得樂趣。

當他們回來,我有一個妹妹一步說話和玩耍。但她有其他計劃,跟我玩。她回到大學,我去了少年喜。

有了一套新的朋友和一個時間表類,包括健身房,每週 3次,一個新的階段給我的生活開始了。我穿著我的緊身束腰非健身房天,當我感到喜歡。我怕別人會笑話我,我還是覺得很奇怪,如果他們看到我穿著緊身束腰和長襪,因為我在更衣室脫衣服。我已經超重的問題相當敏感,被發現時身穿帶會帶來更多的關注和取笑。除了穿什麼不同我會開放給更多的取笑。

人們擔心的尷尬還向我強調我的繼母初中開始之前。她不想得到一個電話,並從學校人都認為她是允許或使我做奇怪的事情。在我看來,有人對她說,她改變了她的態度,她現在是積極嘗試阻止我穿緊身束腰,原因是她將感到尷尬人怎麼想。現在,她要我覺得這是不對的成年女性穿的服裝。她找到了經文在舊約:禁止穿衣服的異性。這似乎很奇怪,因為她給我穿長褲和短褲,看起來像男人一樣的衣服。如果女性可以穿男人的衣服,每當他們想,為什麼我不能穿任何別的女人穿的東西,特別是當沒有人可以看到它。如果這種服裝可以幫助我更好看,為什麼不穿它,誰在乎。這經文今天不能適用,否則,每一個婦女在褲子將被視為犯罪作為一個男人的衣服。而且,有些地方的男人穿蘇格蘭短裙,熔岩熔岩,caftans,和其他衣服一樣的衣服。誰決定什麼屬於哪個性別?

然後她告訴我的男人女人誰穿的衣服和女性誰穿男人的衣服 - 同性戀者以及他們如何深惡痛絕的社會,完全不道德的,以及如何,即使是暗示這會毀了我和家人的聲譽。該條款廢渣,酷兒,智人,女同性戀,戴克,阻力女王,易裝癖者,歪曲,的S&M,和現在有仙女的定義,而不是空泛的術語使用孩子的嘲笑。這被稱為危險的東西實在不好,讓人們相信,在我提出的恐懼,突然一個穿著服裝成為無辜的罪惡。她一定以為我變成了同性戀。但很快我終於把它在一起,它是不是你穿什麼,多達為什麼你穿它。如果我穿著這些緊身束腰誘惑人做是錯誤的 - 讓他們的性興奮,激發自己,或欺騙的人以為我是什麼我沒有,那就錯了。但是,如果我穿著它來尋找更好的是好的。但是,人們會認為最糟糕的,如果他們知道我穿他們,即使我沒有做錯什麼事。由於佩戴什麼不同會導致人們取笑我,不管它是什麼。時裝警察 - (同伴壓力)的作品時,所有其他邏輯失敗。因此,它應該是一個秘密,外面的世界。

這種斷斷續續的緊身束腰穿七年級繼續進行,但現在它以這愧疚。這是一個大秘密,我害怕被抓住,這激發了我,但我穿他們少得多,只有在非健身房天。現在,異性開始變得更有趣。體重問題也成為一個問題,那麼我生長高大我瘦身。我不知道是什麼樣子的異性裸體,我還以為接吻能使嬰兒,但不知道怎麼辦。當我們長大了一些,女孩開始得到更多的勻稱,他們開始穿胸罩,尼龍,高跟鞋,緊身束腰。我可以告訴通過觀察,碰撞,或刷牙對他們,因為他們走了類之間。硬的感覺意味著她穿著一條緊身束腰。這種激動的我,知道我還穿著一件。我不關心胸衣,或是否標本,但也有很多傳言,誰穿“假乳房”。

由於同樣的無聊夏天開始啟動。而我又花了很多時間獨自在前面的電視在沙發上在地下室。此外,我玩穿緊身束腰在很多方面,但它已經不再出現在我的繼母母親,因為她似乎真的很心煩。

有一天早上我醒來了奇怪的感覺,我後來才知道是性興奮。它認為非常好,我就迫不及待地重複這種感覺。我試圖做同樣的事情作為造成的感覺,而且重複。這是偉大的。我告訴我的繼母,但她說,不這樣做,這不是很好。但我做到了,無論如何,一遍又一遍。然後我嘗試它穿著緊身束腰,它幫助我,我繼續這樣做。

我被教導說,婚前性行為是不道德的,會引起許多令人不快的副作用,包括越來越毆打我的繼父母。不過,我可以隨時幻想,激發自己我想要的,或不穿緊身束腰。這是一個妥協,解決了問題。但這種錯誤?許多人在教堂裡甚至不承認這甚至發生在他們身上,我是不會自願,我做了一件奇怪的。但我懷疑,因為這是愉快的,人們認為這是錯誤的。

現在不是整天穿著帶,尋找更薄,緊身束腰也穿的性興奮,然後起飛。此外,他們在夜間佩戴在床上,沒有人會看到的。由於性別與自我的持續和服裝的緊身束腰繼續在覺醒,鏈接和幻想有關緊身束腰和其他內衣項目增長。事實上,這是現在禁果,性感的幻想。

長大了的女人穿的衣服沒有人毀壞我的名譽,開始我的幻想被一個成年女子。如果我已經是一個女人,我可以,沒有恐懼,不僅穿著內衣,但長大了的衣服和高跟鞋。我嘗試了我的步媽媽的衣服和鞋子,完整的合奏。他們實際上合適,但我必須堅持襪子的胸罩。我嘗試了我的一個步驟母親的假髮,但我的頭太大。這鞋也很舒服。一切都在其放回到地方,沒有人懷疑。

在萬聖節的晚上,我把自己打扮成一個性感的女人,用我母親的衣服,沒有人給我任何問題。

接著一場災難,在風暴來臨,而我在學校。地下室被水淹沒,我的繼父母丟棄在沙發上,所有的內衣被儲存在地下室。他們認為,這將結束這種內衣的問題,以及擺脫浸泡垃圾。但它僅僅是個開始。有一段時間,問題是試圖不這樣做,不穿緊身束腰。但是,呼籲保持增長,很快我偷偷到我的繼母的內衣抽屜,小心取出衣服,引起我自己,然後把他們送回抽屜。此人的機會,定期舉行,我的步父母去禱告會週三,週日晚禮拜。我必須做功課,所以不能去。當他們離開,我可以做我想要的。

當我開始工作,送報紙,我有一些錢,所以我可以買我自己的緊身束腰。但是,這提出了一個問題,如何進入一家商店,得到正確的大小,以及如何要求一個秘書,而不是從外觀可疑。我決定在一個我想,用一個捲尺,並指示從西爾斯目錄猜大小。我去了商店,要求一,秘書承擔,這是我的母親,如果有人問起,我會說,當然。這是太容易了。我迫不及待地試穿。這是太大。沒有什麼比一個更沒用太大緊身束腰,它只是脫落。但是,可以採取由折疊縫合了一個小組,它的工作,但看上去總覺得自己和壞。下一次我會得到最小的尺寸提供。現在的問題是存儲。它藏到哪兒,讓我的母親不會一步把它扔掉,讓我得到懲罰。背後的書籍,書櫃,背後的水槽,椅子和下內填料,在床墊,裡面抓取位等隨著時間的推移,我的繼母會搜尋我的房間,發現我的緊身束腰,燒他們,懲罰我。我會買新的或竊取,隱藏他們繼續穿。這將是重複一遍又一遍,直到那個黑色的夏天。

我仍然會嘗試在我的繼母的內衣,而她不在家,但現在我可以穿我想,當我想要的。我買了,想穿緊身衣褲,橡膠緊身束腰,三角褲,和所有的。都是引起我性感。我還陪同我的繼母媽媽的“馬甲店”時,她買了她的內衣。這是最終的打開,實際上並沒有做任何事情。只是為了看看,想像嘗試上述4個項目,像我母親的一步,是非常令人興奮,保持了我的幻想去了幾天。但很快,她趕上了,我用了這一次在車上,每當她做了一個購買。我的幻想是嘗試最終的風險,進入一個緊身衣店和實際嘗試胸衣和其他corsetry馬甲就買真正的高檔緊身束腰。但我太害怕。銷售的老婦人告訴我的媽媽,笑,或扔我出去。

在關鍵時刻來到時,我的同父異母妹妹即將結婚,我的母親買了一對全新的緊身束腰,並保持他們沒有穿。我無法抗拒,一個新的合身緊身束腰在那裡試試,我做到了。但它這樣做了骯髒的,它只是它洗壞。現在我的繼母知道我仍然穿著她的內衣。她決定打電話給心理醫生。

心理醫生是一個“基督教心理醫生”,但所用的經典弗洛伊德的邏輯。憑藉我過去通過拒絕接受我的父母,家人,拒絕接受另一個想通過我,被送走的各種狹隘和私立學校有很多時間探索無用的記憶,並指責別人在我的生命。結果幾個月的治療沒有幫助,大集的法案。這孩子喜歡穿緊身束腰並沒有心理醫生能說服我,這是值得放棄。如果我與某人發生性關係,我不需要的替代品,但這是不可能在我的年齡,或道德的一天。

醫生終於想出了一個替代性治療,就是要利用痛苦和苦難,使緊身束腰的東西使我想起痛苦,而不是性快感。解決的辦法是讓我穿緊身束腰所有的時間。這個逆反心理似乎工作大多數是婦女,他們被迫穿上他們,讓他們很高興了。這將發生在夏季,當沒有人會看到我赤身露體,我的內衣可控制..

但下個部分是喜歡我的幻想變成了現實。我的繼母媽媽帶我到我買的緊身束腰穿在“緊身胸衣店”。我陪她進房間在後面的商店,而是把她的緊身束腰上,我做到了。我很尷尬,但我的繼母沒有讓銷售小姐看到我赤身裸體。他們只是通過緊身束腰我的繼母,她交給我試試。我們買了一個星期的價值緊身束腰,(8)所有,大小不同尺寸,超小號,十幾雙絲襪(如果我想穿)。我以為我到了天堂。我選擇的緊身束腰是Playtex等“金色緊身束腰褲”。他們布內襯橡膠,就下到大腿中旬,他們腰線緊身束腰,用尼龍拉鍊和分裂針織襠。他們可分離吊襪帶,所以我可以穿尼龍,如果我想要的。但在夏天,炎熱的緊身束腰都沒有足夠的襪子。這些緊身束腰有一個小孔網格布襯裡和“通風他們”浮雕圖案,以及在橡膠,看起來像鮮花。胯部和腿板內有經編,最終有跑者如尼龍絲襪。分裂胯部讓我撒尿,而不需要把緊身束腰了。這是不尋常的穿著,而所有這一切撒尿,撒尿感覺就像在自己的褲子。

但是,當我回到我的房間,感覺就像到它。這將是比我首先想到的困難。不過,我提出了一個交易。我每天都穿著帶今年夏天,然後如果我仍然想,我可以在家裡穿緊身束腰和衣服在我任何時候我想要的。不會有懲罰,潛入偷竊,隱藏,和內疚。

第一天晚上是地獄,緊身束腰是一種折磨,它取笑,捏,並且是一般破碎的痛苦。後來,很快做起了敏感地區。該帶是一樣的,因為我是用,但到一天的結束,我希望把它脫掉,在上床之前,但我不能,我媽要檢查我在上床之前,我去睡覺。這是做一個簡單的屁股上拍,但很說明問題。同樣的事情發生在早上和隨機時間在白天。還不准穿其他可用的內衣。我的繼母每週洗這些緊身束腰時,她可以告訴他們佩戴。我的朋友們再次離開了夏令營,所以這是一個無聊的夏天。與此同時,緊身束腰使我要經常便秘和頭痛。我仍然有紙路線,我又在附近騎單大部分時間。部分的交易是不告訴任何人對我的處境。所以有些人認為我是從激烈的體育活動。有時我會玩的朋友,是不是在營地,但他們似乎永遠猜我穿這個東西。

與此同時,緊身束腰繼續讓我心煩。當我在過去,選擇穿他們是一個暫時性疼痛。現在過了幾天,他們真的是越來越成為一個越來越麻煩,緩慢的折磨。他們從來沒有真正舒服,雖然我其實是他們習慣穿,我以為我永遠不會讓整個夏天。隨著時間慢慢地接著我試圖重新談判協議,停止這種現在,我將永遠不會再穿上肩帶。不過,該協議是為整個夏天,就是這樣。她提醒我,我可以穿衣服,裙子,衣服和在其他任何時間,而在家裡,但並沒有真正讓我感興趣的在這個時候。在一面鏡子,我看起來像一個女孩還沒有開展胸部。現在我想我知道這是什麼希望成為女人。我真的不想留一個女孩太長。有一段時間我認為這將是偉大的女人,是一個讓所有這些整齊穿衣服。現在,我不是那麼肯定。

懲罰自己的需要和缺乏無條件的愛,因為我的背景,是帶出了治療,被證明是一部分原因,我選擇了令人興奮的緊身束腰,而不是其他內衣等治療,這也離燃燒的內疚和需要幻想傷害自己或他人受到懲罰。真正的痛苦停止,我們必須有想像的痛苦。今年夏天,將有助於阻止這種要求也。這種類型的疼痛就像一個緩慢的,而不是不斷滴水受傷。在開玩笑,騎起來的,滾動了,額外的應力水平,並與便秘和頭痛的問題,最終通過不斷的壓力和抑制腸道對我的胃口,並幫助我失去了一些更多的重量。

經過一個月的緊身束腰整天,每天從起床到睡覺時間,我是用來穿他們,我覺得沒有他們脫掉衣服。但我學會了沒有渴望對他們來說,起碼是我穿。他們熱出汗,並表明磨損。那些在目錄中和那些在商店仍然好奇我。這是草更綠症。這將需要更長的時間來克服這一點,這是激動的下一個收購,並激動的嘗試新的類型。另外的照片中的婦女身穿緊身衣的目錄和模特兒都非常讓我興奮。這種情況是正常的慾望?我的幻想被戴上緊身束腰,感覺它擁抱我,然後我會看起來就像目錄中的模特兒。

另一側的待遇是大量的無條件的愛,溝通,並召開由我的繼母。我不會做一件好事,或者被人愛別人,我也沒有要瘦,很聽話,或者是任何東西,但我自己。而且我沒有要證明我值得做什麼特別的。這是真正的解脫和替代所有的自我懷疑和自我形象的問題。

夏季和拖延。事實上,我穿這個東西變得越來越少的問題,而且幾乎被忽略。只有在萬不得已的痛苦不舒服的定位服裝使我意識到,我穿著它們。而由於天一直在進行,這成了一個問題較少。事實上,我失去了一些體重,也有助於減輕壓力,停止對我的頭痛和便秘的問題。但是,寬鬆的緊身束腰沒有走動多在我身上。

治療似乎是工作的第3個月。甲緊身束腰現在,只是另一塊內衣,並沒有什麼特別的他們。你可以穿他們只要你想,如果你想。真正的愛情是更好的慾望,即使是一個繼母,而不是導向性。

隨著夏天結束了,我沒有穿緊身束腰了。我現在可以穿緊身束腰,每當我想要的。但我有足夠的智慧不要採取任何機會與外界接觸他人的家庭。事實上,我穿緊身束腰是允許的,至少在我的家庭,也鼓勵思想對穿什麼性感的緊身束腰。緊身束腰仍是比普通內衣更不舒服,但我習慣了,覺得沒有一個赤裸的。只是現在有沒有罪惡感,有沒有秘密,沒有極富戲劇性,沒有偷偷摸摸,沒有隱藏,以及大量的真正的愛情。我沒有穿緊身束腰,但渴望,恐懼,和大多數的性的興奮就消失了。夏季束縛確實有效。

我知道我還是會穿它們,但也有些人永遠不會明白。我將在數吐露對我的過去,然後利用這些知識,他們的風險對我,如果我們的關係改變。既然我沒有羞恥我的內衣,它是沒有其他人的業務是我穿在裡面,除非有人誰可以看到我脫光衣服,我可以不在乎陌生人思想。

從我過去的解脫後來的傷害,當我在祈禱,重溫那些痛苦的回憶。隨著耶穌基督幫助我走過的事件所提及refelt的傷害,但是這一次他們是永遠癒合,我可以談論它。我不再敏感的他們,這份文件有助於證明這一點。你也可以治愈由電力耶穌基督的愛你。

有兩個項目,這個故事並不包括。

1。有真正有罪造成傷害自己和他人。這個故事並沒有說這是可以合理化了。

2。你有責任不傷害其他基督徒的自由與假有罪。如果他們沒有準備好為這個,不炫耀自己的知識和傷害他們。如果他們認為一件事情是錯的,你不這樣做,不這樣做在前面他們。他們要么譴責你,或者也這樣做(即使他們認為這是錯誤的)和感到內疚。

留言

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不倫寫道…
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神待ち寫道…
ご近所の神待ち・家出少女と遊びませんか?コミュニティには少女たちの書き込みで溢れています
グリー寫道…
グリーをも凌駕する出会いサイト【スタービーチ】!一世を風靡し突如として姿を消したサイトが今蘇る!恋愛経験が無い方でも簡単に出会えるのが当サイト!ぜひご活用ください
もうすぐ年末、何かとお金が必要な時期に朗報!!楽して稼げる高額アルバイトを紹介します。女性とおしゃべりしたり、流れでSEXしたりと、普通に女性と接するだけで後腐れなく稼ぐ事ができますよ。女性が苦手な方にはしゃべる練習にもなるので、一石二鳥ですよ
デコログ寫道…
デコログが今熱い!出会いをもとめている女の子たちをGETするのはココが近道!
大人の出会いで大興奮!素敵な一夜を共に過ごせるパートナーを探しませんか?割り切った関係、肉体関係だけでもOK!
おかま寫道…
おかまが可愛すぎて困る!女の子よりかわいい「男の娘」との純粋な出会いを応援するコミュニティサイトです!女性より女性らしい女装男子たちと出会ってみませんか?
プチ家出寫道…
冬休みを利用してのプチ家出中の少女が集う家出掲示板登場!困っている彼女達を救えるのはアナタしかいません。もちろん救ってあげた貴方の好きなようにして下さい。救ってもらった負い目が有るから性奴隷も思いのまま
直アド寫道…
無料登録するだけで無駄なやり取り一切なく気に入った異性と即直アドが交換できる!後は二人だけで秘密のメールを思う存分楽しんで下さい!直アドなら真剣な出会いを求めている方も必見です
人妻会館寫道…
人妻との出会いなら人妻会館!旦那とのHがマンネリになり、性欲を持て余した人妻たちは理想のSEXが出来る男性を探しています。ヤリたくてたまらない!そんな彼女たちの欲求を満たしてあげましょう!
未亡人寫道…
寂しい未亡人の為の出会いコミュニティサイトで毎日欲求不満で過ごしてしまっている淫らな彼女たちと燃えるような激しい一夜を過ごしませんか?
デコログ寫道…
退屈な毎日から抜け出せるチャンスがここに!いろんな異性がいてるから確実に出会えること間違いない!中には芸能人も登録してるって噂だよ
本当に出合える!出合い掲示板の決定版「LOVE-TREE BBS」へようこそ!友達を作りたい人や恋人募集中の人などが集まる当掲示板で理想のパートナーと愛の木を育ててみませんか?
人妻 出会い寫道…
背徳感に酔いしれる…甘い人妻達と一夜の濃厚loveもう何も失うものはない…このサイトでは様々なタイプの人妻がいます。あなた好みの熟れた人妻も勿論
mobage寫道…
同じようにmobageしてる娘とコミュニティを通じて仲良くなりませんか!?無料掲示板では理想のパートナー探しの手助け、合コンパーティー等も随時開催中ですっ!ここなら友達、恋人が簡単にできちゃいますよ☆

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